"Pop culture is a joke, I just polish it."

The little red birds came to town and were swept by the new average Joes of the league, the LA Dodgers.

Winning in Pittsburgh looked very feasible. Instead, the Dodgers continued their tradition of losing to the Pirates at their home. 

With confidence on their side after a win and one of the groups of supporters in the house, the LA Galaxy are in business.

James Outman's successful start to the season helps me forget about the problems that the Dodgers currently have.

This level of emotion had never been displayed by Kershaw before, not even after pitching his no-hitter or when he passed Don Sutton as the strike out leader. This was a new side to Kershaw, the kind of spark this .500 ballclub needs.

it's time Greg Vanney hired someone in the same vein as Ed and Lorraine Warren to exorcize the demons this team is internalizing.

Cody Bellinger cathartically stealing a homer from Jason Heyward wraps up my feelings of missing the past.

The question isn’t who will win Sunday’s first Trafico matchup between the two. The question should be, “How many goals will they score on the home team?” 

Under the newly added flashing LED blue lights, the Dodgers showed every aspect of their game during their first week series against the Arizona Diamondbacks. 

The team plays with a controlled vision guided by their brainy players, but their soul is evidently missing.

For the last 11 seasons, Dodgers fans have been spoiled by their playoff runs. Since the Guggenheim Baseball Management took control of the team, they have won 9 divisions and have missed the playoffs just once. 

Low scoring games are becoming this season’s theme for the Los Angeles Galaxy. Playing without Chicharito and Joveljic, the team tied 0 - 0 to a depleted Portland Timbers. Another game, another reminder of just how much the winless LA Galaxy’s offensive depth is shallow. 

Team USA consisted of two players who will be representing the city of Los Angeles starting March 30th. Here's how they ended the tournament.

Frustrating chants coming from Legends Plaza scored LA Galaxy’s home opener game that ended in a frustrating 1-1 draw.

A Gen Z baseball fan stood up and yelled,”You belong in the minors, Trout.” His red-coat spirit cheered for the Great Britain baseball team. The young man became a heel in a stadium full of Americans rooting for a team USA that compares to the dream team for the 1992 Olympics. 

James Outman should start the season as the Opening Day center fielder. Let the kid play.

Imagine becoming the only Major League Soccer goalie to block more than 10 shots on target in two separate occasions. You pour your heart and soul into the game. Another day, another 90 minutes in the office doing a damn great job. Only to have your offense take 8 shots and only 2 on target. 

The Blue Crew has a championship worthy defense that will take the team out of their offense-driven comfort zone from the previous years. 

Chicharito was missed during the opening game of the season for the LA Galaxy. The team’s offense was missing a key component during the loss against FC Dallas 3 to 1.

The first week of the 2023 MLS Cup came and went and neither of the LA teams played because of a weather anomaly. The Rose Bowl showdown between the LA Galaxy and LAFC was postponed to July 4th because of a storm that devastated and gave some snowy joy to SoCal.

After a month of over analyzing the off season of the LA Dodgers, I get to examine meaningless baseball. Welcome to “Headlines about Meaningless Baseball”  

Superstition is a hell of a drug. Here are some superstitions for you to follow and pass the positive juju to the team on this new season.

Home field advantage matters on a smaller scale, but will it affect the LA Galaxy’s season? The supporters groups plan to boycott the season until their beloved team changes for the better.

Welcome to my new segment, You Said What? Short rants based on real quotes. Spring training is up and running. Let’s rant about some arbitrary quotes.

I'm about to turn 33 and "The Mummy" still scares me. 

Before pitchers and catchers report to Arizona, I thought I would jinx some headlines in hopes they do not become a situation during the season. 

Dodger fans have plenty of ammo in their arsenal of shouts to direct at the front office, but they’re still the big dogs of the west. 

If you’ve ever been bored with a group of friends, you know how to play F***, Marry, Kill. The game is very problematic when people’s names are involved. But it really lends itself when you want to analyze a baseball team. So, let's get started: Kill, F*** , or Marry, the Los Angeles Dodgers’ offense, defense, and their pitching staff. 

If anyone can raise the corruption standards that the 2022 FIFA World Cup set, it's the 2023 World Baseball Classic.

Number one on my list of, "Top 3 Most Memorable Moments of the 2022 World Cup." 

Number two on my list of, "Top 3 Most Memorable Moments of the 2022 World Cup." 

Number three on my list of, "Top 3 Most Memorable Moments of the 2022 World Cup." 

I'm turning 32 this year and heart burns have replaced hangovers as my arch rival when it comes to drinking. I won’t allow heart burns to stop me from doing what I love, doing hoodrat things with my friends like playing Beer Pong. 

"Is that why you always stared out the window anytime the ice cream man strolled by? Did you think they’d have a Jack-O-Choco-Taco? Were you hoping to get one last bite? He’s gone!"

“Save the leprechauns! They’re on the brink of extinction. I’ve never even seen one in my life, sober! Hey, Lil’ Man, you got a new hat.”

"Putting a riddle-obsessed freak was easier than dealing with @ThePenguin$_bratt saying “All those daddy issues are stopping you from flying.” She doesn’t know how damaging those words are. There’s nothing in my utility belt to help me become sticks and stones."

"If you manually change the time I swear I will turn myself off anytime I see you go into the restroom. Ya nasty! You’re over here, defecating and touching the same phone that you use to call your momma with?"

About the Writer

By night, Anthony Solorzano II writes jokes, this is not one of them. By day, he teaches English where he works out his jokes in front of his class. He writes and directs sketch shows. He blogs about the LA Dodgers and Galaxy. He puts in his own writing into his assignments and has his students give feedback. As you can see, he's a Gemini.